One sobering fact stood out among the multitude of statistics in the Domestic Violence Trends Report 2026: Many of the 1,917 new high-risk child abuse cases in 2025 involved the excessive use of physical force to discipline the child.

Inappropriate or excessive discipline was also cited as examples of the 2,476 new cases with low or moderate safety and risk concerns.

The unspoken reality behind these numbers is this: Some of the parents who started out thinking they were disciplining their children ended up abusing them. Child protection officers or social workers have had to step in to keep the children safe.

If Singapore is to stem the rising tide of child abuse cases, parents have to confront the uncomfortable truth that strict physical discipline can no longer be a shield for potentially abusive behaviour. 

In Singapore, corporal punishment – and caning in particular – has long been seen as tough love and such disciplinary methods have become normalised over time. 

Many Singaporeans justify these methods, arguing that they turned out fine after years of being caned as a child.

A 2021 study by the Singapore Children’s Society and Yale-NUS College found that 45% of parents had spanked or hit their children with an object in the past year.

More recently, a 2026 study led by researchers from Nanyang Technological University showed that mothers who had been physically punished as children are more likely to favour such punishment themselves.

The same study also found that adolescent boys were physically punished by their fathers twice as often as girls of the same age, reflecting a common belief that boys require more forceful methods of discipline to correct misbehaviour.

In recent years, the Ministry of Social and Family Development (MSF) has stated publicly that excessive physical punishment can be considered abuse, such as in cases where the child is injured or suffers serious physical harm.

It has previously cited the example of a parent using the cane several times a week with force hard enough to break a child’s skin, leaving injuries and marks.

When he announced more safeguards for the child protection system in the wake of four-year-old Megan Khung’s death, Minister-in-charge of Social Services Integration Desmond Lee said in 2025: “We will make clear that while we respect the role of parents in disciplining their children, excessive physical discipline will be considered and reported as abuse.”

Not every act of parental discipline constitutes physical abuse, an MSF spokesperson told The Straits Times at the release of its Domestic Violence Trends Report on Oct 29.

The concern arises when the disciplinary action is excessive and results in injuries, or is likely to lead to injuries, that require medical treatment or hospitalisation.

Such injuries would include fractures and burns.

So actions like striking a child with a dangerous object, slamming a child against the wall, or trying to suffocate or strangle a child could amount to abuse, the MSF spokesperson said.

One key point is that it does not matter if the parents’ intention was good, or their aim was only to discipline, excessive punishment could still be abusive.

As the head of Allkin Family Service Centre@Ang Mo Kio 230 Anne Chui said: “Most parents do not set out to harm their children. They are often trying to correct behaviour or prepare their children for success.

“But in moments of stress or anger, the line between discipline and abuse can be crossed more easily than parents expect.”

Montfort Care’s director of Integrated Family Service Kevin See said using physical force in disciplining could be a slippery slope of sorts. 

He said parents may lose control of themselves in the heat of anger or use more force over time as they are upset by their child’s response to the discipline.  

Both Montfort Care and Allkin Singapore are community agencies handling child abuse cases of low or moderate risk. 

One case Allkin’s Chui handled illustrates the inherent danger of using force.

A parent stressed by financial woes and raising a child alone scolded and hit the child for performing badly in school and not coming home straight after lessons.

Over time, this escalated to slapping the child, using a cane and belt to lash the child, and this left the primary school pupil with bruises all over.

The child hid the beatings from friends and teachers in school but had frequent stomachaches and sleep was affected.  

Over time, the child became more and more fearful and withdrawn, and started avoiding and lying to the parent. 

Chui said: “The parent saw this as defiance and punished the child more harshly, creating a vicious cycle in which the harsher the punishment, the more the child withdrew.”

What many parents may not realise is that physical discipline doesn’t work in the long run if the child is too fearful or distressed to learn. 

This is because the emotional part of the brain is activated when the child is fearful or distressed, and this blocks access to the part of the brain that facilitates thinking and learning, the experts say. 

So the child may stop the offending behaviour momentarily to avoid being hit, but may not learn right from wrong or how to make better choices. 

Chui added that the repeated use of harsh physical discipline can erode the emotional safety and trust between the parent and child, and fray their bond over time. 

Instead, counsellors recommend the 3R approach to discipline – regulate, relate and reason.

First, parents have to help their children regulate their feelings and calm down, so that their brains are in a state where they are able to learn.

The parent has to listen and relate to the child, and validate the child’s feelings.

When the child is calm and feels connected to the parent, the parent can use reason to help the child reflect on his or her behaviour, learn from it, and explore making better choices.

Parents can discipline their children using strategies such as setting clear and consistent boundaries, and withdrawing privileges, like activities the child enjoys.

To be clear, parenting is probably the toughest job around.

Counsellors acknowledge the frustrations and difficulties many parents face in disciplining their child and encourage them to seek help if they find themselves overwhelmed. 

Chui said: “In many of the cases we encounter, the greatest risk factor is not a lack of love or care, but the cumulative impact of stress, exhaustion and limited support.”

Her observation cuts to the heart of the problem: The line between physical discipline and abuse is rarely crossed due to a lack of love, but because a parent is running on empty.

Stresses pile up, tempers fray, reaching for the cane and hitting more and more can quickly become an unthinking reflex.  

Changing mindsets on physical discipline involves more than just doing away with the cane.

Parents also have to feel it is okay to seek help for themselves when they are overwhelmed by life’s problems or when they cannot manage their child’s behaviour. 

Reaching out for support is not a sign of failure. It is a force of love parents can offer to protect their child.